Ever wondered how someone feels when they ask you to leave them alone???
I truly believe....no one wants to be left to themself, especially when things are bothering them. They just want some time on their own. To sort their feelings, their rage, their thoughts and even more their words.....they don't want to hurt those who are close to them.......
Yesterday, I tried being a silent spectator. Sat like a lonely bird. I don't know what got into me....but I was so not my usual boring self....I was worse than boring!!! It reminded me of fevicol advertisement.....I felt like I was glued to the seat. I wanted to be left by myself....Why? I have no idea....
Are there things bothering me? May be.....
Am I scared I'll hurt someone? I guess so.....
Do I fear missing my friends? Yes...I DO for sure.......
Walking down my life...I've understood that even though you can be greatest buddies at some point.....but with distance your closest buddy can become a complete stranger to you....I guess I fear that the most at this point of my life.......When I realized that the friendship that just happened cannot be kindled again....it just breaks my heart.....
Yesterday....I was almost in tears.....I reallly miss those days....and I really miss not being able to spend time together like usual, because we are busy with our own lives....
Did I shout a "Leave me alone" yesterday? No I didn't....but I was thinking what would happen if I just faded away like that.....If I don't take the initiative to talk to anyone.....to write to anyone.....to call anyone...to smile at anyone......I guess I would fade away and be forgotten...and I fear that even more!!!!
What is it that stops me from taking initiative? Is it shyness? Is it attitude? Is it arrogance? Is it time?? Believe me, no one has time for anyone these days.....not even for themselves!!!
Even then I have a ray of hope...I know that no matter when I call you you will try to be there for me....even if you can't, you'll try your best not to make me feel lonely...even when we are strangers....'coz at one point of our life we were inseparable......but now the distance grows.....
i liked it dear..good one dear..
ReplyDeleteno reason for this thots ??.. well good post !! .. u said it truly .. but i guess true freinds will never apart,ofcourse we tlk less,but tht ease of gettin each other still remains i feel..u can always tlk to me sofa,i'll b thr as a shoulder for evr (as far as i can)!! :)
ReplyDeletewell.......well....
ReplyDeletethese thoughts remind me abt myself...i often go thru these thoughts...n u r almost always there with in my grasp wen i go thru these phases...insha Allah...As long as it is within my capability i'll do my best to be always there for you just like you have always been there for me....
Thought Provoking Post!!
Thank you guys...I know I can bug u guys always :)
ReplyDeleteLuvv ya...
It is indeed thought provoking....sometimes u meet ur best frend n u don't recognize them!!! I hope we don't reach that phase!!!
Hmmm... so friendship s the problem.. its k. its like that.. nobody wants to be left alone more than a few hours.. so will be alright!
ReplyDeleteCheers
Randeep
Well...friendship is not the problem....itz when every1 lives in their own realm and fail to recognize those who were there with them through thick and thin, that itz a problem...well not a problem, but itz saddening!
ReplyDeleteBut, yeah...at any point of our lives we do get some1 or the other...life won't be lonely....unless u want to b!!!
And Thanks for the comment!
ReplyDeleteayyyoo.. I was just bla bla.. lemme escape..
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteYou have articulated your angsts so well, Snowqueen.We all go through these ups and downs, and the downtimes are the most unnerving, because these are the times when we expect our loved ones to understand us the most, and somehow sometimes,that doesnt happen..People with distance and time, become dipsensible..You are right, these days no one really has the time for each other.I know I fall into that category,so much so that, I have stopped depending on others too and rely on myself to get me through these rough patches.I know there is no one that I know who is more reliable..It's sad I know..But as you grow older, you realize this benevolent truth. There is no one who can understand you, nor love you better and be there for you, than you can, yourself..I have learnt that the hard way..We place too many expectations on other people, and when that doesnt happen, we fall back even deeper..I think you are moving in the right direction, Snow..Writing as a means of thought release, there is nothing more cathartic....Know that there are many who love you unconditionally for who you are..And that is all that matters....Take good care S!..
ReplyDeleteoh....thank you H...But we are never alone, we always have our Lord and Creator to take us out when we are drowning in trouble, just that we must place our trust and hope in Him. And yes memories together with our loved ones...always a boost to emotional recession :)
ReplyDeleteemotional recession??
ReplyDeletei like it!!
=D
emotional recession??!!
ReplyDeletei like it!
:D
I actually stole that term from smwhr else.... ;)
ReplyDelete